Disappoint or Exceed


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• my perspective on how the driven ideology of perfection is hurting the human race

this brand new 27-minute [sound] clip — recorded earlier on tonight — came from an impulse of mine at the time. my speakings were built around my direct thoughts on an ideology that I cite as irrational-rooted: “perfection.”

the reason I chose to speak on it, is because I believe that the idea of perfection, for such a long time now, has dragged people away from what their own ways of life truly are. we all have the same 24/7 — that’s true… but I still think our lifestyles are different; different things apply to our individual paths, as no one [path] is the same as the next. for me to judge your decisions makes no sense for starters; and for me to even grasp what you’re getting at, I’d more than likely have to be: you.

in the speaking, I touch on why I feel it’s important to stay moving at your own pace and that we as a people will all do things at certain, given times. of course, I’ve shared how I want to inspire more people to think for themselves and to follow their soul’s trail; making the choice to be and stay righteous; positive whilst/throughout doing so — that’s just my personal doctrine, though.

being on the topic that I was, I also delved into how I think buying into something as unrealistic as perfection is affecting the way we as people view not only ourselves but others around us, as we expect so much from the next person, all because of how ideas such as perfection have driven us to form the highest of standards, yet ironically, when we look in the mirror, we think so low of ourselves. thatter (the latter) alone reminds me that it’s definitely time to let go of this high regard we hold each other to, and to learn to respect one another as just humans who may be different and have different views of the world, but share the one we only have.


Update (10/4/16 on Sunday afternoon):

I came across a video of Iskra Lawrence on my fb newsfeed that a friend had shared, and it led to me visiting her IG page. so I’m checking through her grid and there was one tab I left open overnight that had a picture of her that I found quite pleasing. it must have been my subconscious, because the caption she wrote along with the photo linked diRECTLY to what I spoke about. thought I’d just share it in this post. made sense.

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✨🌴 memories from CR.. I feel like many of us go through years of battling with ourselves. Struggling because society has given us such an unrealistic, narrow minded beauty ideal. But perfection doesn't exist. The best we can do is be unapologetically ourselves. 🌟I have been so humbled by all your support. I will do my best to spread as much positivity as I can through my "platform". I feel responsible to be as real as possible as I struggled with my body as a teen and felt like I had to change to look like the model I dreamt of being. When actually I was perfectly imperfect just the way I am. And so are you. ✨💕 #iskralawrence #everyBODYisbeautiful there's nothing wrong with cellulite, stretch marks, rolls, back fat anything!🐯🐯⚡️⚡️ no one needs retouching because the real you is sexy wearing @aerie #waybackwednesday

A post shared by Iskra ✨ (@iskra) on

but YES, let me not give it all away. and so, if you do get a spare 30 secs… or mins, please lend your ears to my most recent recording — I’ll just call it “Your Pace” for short now. all listens are appreciated, and all comments are welcome anyway. the rest of my clips are also all there on my official Soundcloud page ‘LSNCLR,’ so go ScoPeep those too if you haven’t already, and join & follow the campaign (#CHANGEOFCONDITIONS). keep spreading the positive and most-powerful vibrations.

BONUS / P.S. can anybody tell me how a white-breaded sandwich filled with the combo of: peanut butter, strawberry jam, chopped banana and seeds somehow, somewhat and in some way sorta captures and recreates the fine essence of what I recall chocolate spread to taste like, please?



Mom & Dad most definitely taught me about the “means” from a young.

This year, I’ve been finding it easier to simplify my life. And whether this is because of that cleaning of my bedroom a few weeks back, or just plainly through my mentality by the choices I’m making — I don’t think I know yet (Mom may just [as well] be right all of the time after all then if that’s the case).

Anyway, what I’ve slowly been figuring out is how to balance “want” and “need.” I was in Merry Hill with ‘Leb and told him about how it’s mad that how good something looks can drive you to wanting it, when that’s just the packaging; the surface; top layer — and all that came from just looking at a Nesquik Milk Bar, you know, looool!

So far this year, in a strong comparison to 2015, I’ve already saved more than I’ve spent. And though I’ve spent bits here and there, I haven’t really looked at those transactions as expenditures I honestly can’t say I count the money that’s left my pocket or bank has been a waste; that same type of waste that, before, I’d often worry about after letting it go. In all fairness, I’ve had what I believe anybody would consider to be enough money to go be frivolous with my spending — but… complete and utter nah.

See, what I’m seeing now, is that, I might have the money for now to; packing enough to be able to afford things. However, at the same time as that, I’m dealing with more and so it would be easier not only to say that (living for today, because you might not get tomorrow’), but to throw away more. [The] aspect that I’ve had to look at, is: ‘so then… what if tomorrow does come?’ I mean, it’s not the end of the world and all if I’m broke — it’s just that, so many times, I’ve fallen victim to remorse over that money I spent, because my mind was in the now, thinking that later wasn’t on its way; [even] when I clearly knew, too. Also, you know what? That notion about spending money on “… experiences rather than material things” is real. I’ve noticed this one for sure.

I’m teaching myself to deal with less, so that if I ever hit rock bottom, it’s not some shock to my system. What’s humbling me a lot as a human being lately, is knowing that, ‘I could have it all today and nothing tomorrow.’ Frivolous spending has no sense to it. I think we generally don’t know how much we really have, and also how fast things can go. That Krispy Kreme donut you had; that Nandos; that night out. Not that these things are bad, or that you’re not entitled to what you wish, even when you make your own money — but at least have a knowing mind about it when you do go after these things. I can’t speak for all, though I’d certainly say I’m not senseless — hence, even someone as impulsive as I am, has to think first and not be so willingly oblivious, ignorant, just because their pocket is glowing.

Two things my Mom has advised time and time [again] over, are that I keep a self-written track of my spendings, as well as to use tangible [money] rather than my debit card when purchasing. Before, I didn’t really see the sense she was trying to show me — March 2016 now, and it’s clicked. A debit card is just so accessible that it’s convenient to use, as opposed to cash from your pocket, handbag, or wherever. You don’t see that money leaving the plastic same way as the paper or copper departs. It’s like you forget how much you’re spending, until you see the bank statement and truly realize how dumb you were at the time. Mom also told me you should be able to touch money if you need it. So it’s no acting like I’m rich forever in terms of the money. It’s just more disciplined and both rational; logical when you have a set amount to work with and make it known to yourself that you needn’t be going past that what is there.

I’m someone who’s often been considered to be “tight” with my money, but I damn sure as hell know why… and I know I can find a penny; or a pound; a hundred; a thou, though. Saving more than spending is more a skill than I’d have bargained for real. It helps though when you see what’s happening with your choices and because of them. I’m still learning to manage my money a lot better anyway. I’d advise you definitely do the same, because as much as I may not believe money is important, it is too hard to come by and be blowing fast… and then complaining too, lmao. These days, if I go -1 then I’m going +2. I just reinforce that, right now, nothing — if anything, then rarely — ever really seems like a loss because it’s all wiser decision.

Very much slept on it, let it mull, and heavily contemplated but… This year, despite my attachment with the memories of wear and my anecdotes to go with the times I go ’em — I might even get rid of my Js and Jerseys, too…

Man’s on a streak unheard-of in my book of history, I tell ya.

Thank you 3Mo/Leb for making sure I don’t forget about the ‘#Meanz! We’re for sure onto something by being aware to what “living within your means” means, my brother. [Also, any rap fans looking for someone new to listen to, check out Nick Grant if you haven’t already. 3Mo/Leb put me onto him and his most recent release, ’88,’ just the other day… And I was impressed as Leb claimed he thought I’d be. So, YES].

I’ll leave [you all] with this one, which actually was something I wrote as my WhatsApp status earlier on, after a continued, forever-going-on exhausting discussion about “work and money” with my Mom, Dad and Brother-in-law, who was there and actually sparked it back for them, kinda 😂

Nobody really “NEEDS” anything or anybody. It depends what you want it or them for; and if it truly even matters to the means of your life.


Waiting for a while…

Ever since the other night (Sunday), watching TV just hasn’t been the same for me.

When I come across powerful, heavy TV shows, it just isn’t that easy for me to jump into a next series. A Different World and Friday Nights Light — as I’ve made clear, I imagine — were that for me. It’s hard to lighten up after those.

Me, I came from a household with elders who wouldstay watching Trouble on TV (i.y.k.y.k), so I grew up onFresh-Prince, My Wife and Kids, City Guys, Moesha, Martin, The Parkers, Hang Time, One on One; you name it – and then later on when they started airing them; The Cosby Show and Diff’rent Strokes. The likes of the tail-end shows [from the late 70s & early 80s] were so cool to me when I was in secondary school; getting to see what really started off and paved way for those shows from the 90s that I know so many of us love, whether that be 70s, 80s or 90s babies. There’s a reason [why] they were so great and beloved.

So, Yo. When I got onto A Different World, which I had only learned about at like, 17? I’m still pissed that “they” hid it from me, really. I can see why now. I wonder, like, ‘what if A Different World was on TV when I was a kid?’ Would I have embraced my skin colour more; would I have learned from early and been proud of this like I am now and as such plus much.

I started out in love with Denise Huggstable (no typo) in season 1 — back when shit was bland, thank GOODNESS for Debbie Allen being in the house! — and ended up falling in LOVE with Whitley (Dwayne, you inspired me, and now I know for CERTAIN MOOOSTTT that I’ll get the right girl who I want to travel along with me in this life… One “fairy-tale” depicted up on T.V. that I  DO believe in if there ever was one; mind you, all their asses was fine by season 5. Last scene on the finale nearly made me shed tears… No Will in the house alone ending, but I felt it. That type of comradery between two brothers could never be kilt by money — it’s just not powerful enough to match wid it. Think I’ma properly move on [up] to The Jeffersons, as well as Good Times, next.

As for FNL, I learned a lot from watching all five seasons… but what was bigger than that show for me, was more of just the reminder I felt like I needed every time I felt like I was falling off. So I’ll put it like this:

Eric Taylor reminded me of what Pride and a Fair game for all is. Tami Taylor reminded me to be that one who cares. Tim Riggins reminded me that your mishaps aren’t always a reflection of who you are at core; being someone who deep-down, led with the kindest intentions. Even Tyra Collette, who reminded me that I’ve gotta make something of myself — even though people are only waiting to see me fail like I may have done in the past… Re-edit history in a better light for your own future. Landry Clarke reminded me to persist. Matt Saracen reminded me to stay humble. In way-polar-opp to the former, Brian “Smash” Williams reminded me that you better know you good. Vince Howard reminder me you can turn your life around. Jess Merriweather reminded me to stay resilient and get your worth, regardless.

Clear Eyes • Full Hearts • Can’t Lose •

Don’t think I’ll forget that for as long as I live.

All in all, I’m just happy with what both shows covered and could offer to my life at the most fitting time. Show appreciation for the things that pass time and give you a sense of comfort in such a world where it’s way too easy to fall victim to how cold and uncomfortable it can really get. They just took my life, you know?

Thank you once again, Netflix. For real, you’ve just gotta find the right programs to watch; and persevere with them – they’ll be good to you.


Di~d~oes anybody know this?

I was watching The Breakfast Club‘s interview with Fat Joe (circa 2014), as I was eating my dinner yesterday. I go to Wikipedia to see Joe’s discography, right? Cut a long story short, *allow me to yawn for you,* I didn’t even realize that [Terror Squad’s] “Lean Back” went to #1 on Billboard‘s Hot 100 back in 2004 (21/8 to be specific). A record like that… [as] a hit?! But the times have definitely differed, and it’s well over 10 years later now (don’t ask me how, see wha gwan with Mother Nature – I think she’s got the answers).

Whatever was hot was HOT, regardless of whatever. I remember my Dad would take me to work (lorry driving & delivery) with him in my [primary] school holidays — ’03 to ’05 era, I’ll never forget that experience – fortunate enough to spend that type of time with my Pops from early on — and the “hits” on the radio were primarily R&B records. One day, we were up Leicester — I say one day, but we went up there about five times and I got tired of that shit, looool — and I swear to goodness, no woooord of a lie – they played Beyoncé & Jay Z’s “Crazy in Love” a good ten times. That song was spinning.

But you know after all this I speak of, what was crazy to me when I saw it? I clicked on a hyperlink which had redirected me to another page, where I would see the header, “List of Billboard Hot 100 number-one singles of 2004.” So I’m scrolling down this page, and I for~sho~doe thought I was being kidded, or that it was some one-day-only hoax somebody put together, that caught me. What I was seeing, of course, was every number-one single for that year. In spite of the negative light shone both on the current state of biased-radio (white privilege), imagine this one… For the WHOLE of 2004, not ONE white artist topped the Billboard Hot 100.

From Outkast; to Beyoncé; Usher (DOMINATED); Twista; Fantasia; fucking JUVENILE; Ciara; all the way down to Snoop Dogg, closing the year out. Though all people [who] started out from “nothing,” the market way back then clearly wasn’t as saturated, and the “stars” were stars and not just these “regular people” who we knew prior to the fame; along with the come up, who’d also just so happened to make it. So there was a bridge between star and the ordinary person; a clear gap where you could distinguish that – but that bridge has been long-burned and that’s been for a good while now at that.

Now, I don’t see a big deal — which may ruffle the feathers of the naysayers who rise to debate the double standard regarding, again, “privilege” — but it intrigued me as to what could be thee real reason why this happened; my mind was instantly shot a bullet of curiosity that had me ticking.

Myself and ‘Taj found ourselves in a conversation about how generic music is. Whereas back in ’04 you could tell an R&B song from a Rock song — and not to cause a divide or put one above the other in terms of quality, that’s left to preference — in 2016, it’s like a melting pot, which is good and all… but the soup is just bland; and now, even the vegetables taste like potatoes and dumplings. Genre has been erased; the word transcended couldn’t be more relevant; and what was once Pop is now everything; particularly hip-hop – and you know it is.

Everybody wants to be a part of the “culture” and everybody’s surviving. Clear difference between now and the over-ten-years-ago is that, with so many of these artists (who I’d barely even dare call an ‘artist’) making the same material, you don’t know who the artists are no more. You barely can tell one song from the next. And so, it’s almost impossible to win the lotto with all these entries. But they (the radio) are going to sell to us what they wish to; what’s buzzing – then again, though,is that buzz really what you’d stably, in firm stance call a “buzz?” when, I say it’s The Short-Lived, Buzzing Bee. A hit [nowadays], like I said just last Friday, is so temporary-based.

These hits have no longevity. Ten years from now, I’ll still be in my then-room or wherever, dancing to “Burn” like Tom Dubois. I doubt I’ll be singing Taylor Swift; and feeling it, too. I think what you’ve gotta understand is, the feeling… The effects these songs are giving; they’re barely brushing our shoulders, let alone sticking to our souls like that. The come-and-go’ness of it all just gets exhausting. The only exception I give right now, would probably really be to Justin Bieber with the music he made on ‘Purpose’ – I mean, even though it’s not exactly some ground-breaking, paradigm-shift on a commercial landscape/’le, it has in all fairness still been the short departure away from the bubblegum, generic sound you’d expect from a musician of his status, right.

Like ‘Taj pointed out — something I agree with, no question — “We need more artists making music that THEY want to make.”

This really is the state-of-pop music now, though. Whatever’s popping. And looking back on the days where anything could be popping; a time where we know originality was encouraged — something [that’s] now like a taboo — you can see why I’d say it was easier for the artist to make that music they genuinely wanted to, and not a bunch of archaic, filled-with-shit-to-fit-the-radio-and-pollute-ears-of-listeners what leaves no mark; a snow that barely attaches itself to ground and builds up from foundation.

Nothing feels real and it’s just fucking weird,” Taj said. He also stated, “[But also], R&B back the was different. The only thing [that was] similar to Rap was features. [But] now the production sounds the same. I was thinking about this [earlier today], and how everyone back then wasn’t afraid to be different. For e.g. Kanye [West] wasn’t afraid to drop “All Falls Down,” which spoke about spoke about being self-conscious and insecurities – and that was cool; it was respected; [AND it was] AUTHENTIC. There is a big difference between being influenced and straight up copying to benefit you. And that is why, in my opinion, a lot of the appropriation in mainstream music is happening.

Imagine that, at one point, three years ago, ain’t many souls care about Future. Now look at him. More importantly, tote your aim elsewhere, and if you pan to look at the current rap game, you’ll see that all of these rappers trying to be and eat from the culture instead of feeding it, they take from it. Sorry, but I’ve been saying it for a while now as much as I listen to his music — old more than new — but one word: #Drake.

That’s really where it’s all at, right about now. Mediocre be key to the bank where all the paper (and 💳) supply is at. 


The Musical Just ICE

On a whim, I’m writing this, still buzzed off the Bassy vibes. My goodness. Some artists just can’t miss. This 11 – 13-track album trend just works for Dreamville. Since 2014, the “96 [Chicago] Bulls” been at it, getting the net poppin’, even if the net [worth] is being repeatedly put on a back-burner – which in this case is doing musical favours and justice.

The formula might not have changed the game yet, or let alone reached it, [but still] what’s being pushed, though, is the idea of quality over quantity — both amount of tracks on album and sales — and I can only pray that’s a sign of more than good things to come for hip-hop music.

The radio hits just aren’t important anymore. I’ve gone back to listen to albums from 2011 onwards, and can honestly only name, to me, a few that have eclipsed “time.” Found out last night that Fetty Wap just went platinum with his debut, self-titled album. More power to him. Well-deserved with the hits he was able to put out in 2015 that still got nightclubs going crazy. It’s all phases, though. I’m tired of hearing 10 albums the same – hence why so selective these days with what I choose to listen to.

For the past how many years now, these newly-released albums have been almost too predictable, because it’s common knowledge and cat-out-the-bag that for an artist to sell, they gotta follow the sound of the radio. What’s failed in the mean time, though, is album sales. It’s being proven nowadays that the return of quality is the old-new way that’s back.

The audience have been fooled for far too long, but no longer now. It’s getting to the point where, music more people are just growing tired [of the same old shit]. Tolerance is seeing a decline, and the past 5 years have been primarily nothing but a drone, in my opinion. Independence & innovation have taken over. While RIAA have changed the boundaries for the numbers needed for an album to a Platinum, it’s becoming all the more clear and prominent that the music matters more when you strip everything away.

Regardless of 1K or 1M first week, the artists really winning are the ones making the music channeling emotions that these other artists following the generic base/template can’t do. The vibrations; the influence; the feelings given off through the music are what just can’t be compared to. And so, in the long run, the music that lasts overcomes all. Better for something to {OUT}grow than to have a quick burst and stay where it’s at. Which is why you’ll find that something good can sell anytime, as its value isn’t determined by the now, but the whenever, instead. That’s why you see some albums that started off slow, but paced to higher heights without rapid progress. When it’s [its] time, it’s time. “Nothing is ever done until the time.” And, due to the artist putting the music over all, the alternative reward for that as sub for the commercial success [for them and the listener] is satisfaction within.

Independence & innovation are the triumphant components. If your shit isn’t selling, it gotta have something to fall back on, or it will burn, and not as an eternal flame but from ashes to ashes; only to be swept away and forgotten. Make your shit… and make it last. If not found now, maybe in a hundred years time somebody will find the book, read it and recognise it as the coined “100.” Real treasure ain’t be coated in gold –it’ll just be gold at core.

Been meaning to write about the current state of music for a while now, but big thanks to Too High To Riot, Bas’ album, just released today. Hiiiighly record-mended. Bas, you’re a human VIBE, my brother.

‘Cuz it’s Friday, you might have a job – but this ah get you high.


Too much ah kill you

Short recordings are becoming easier for me to do, apparently (so my life tells… no tales).

This one just came from me being taught by nature, that you just can’t allow things to overpower you – because it’s easy for a mind with no discipline to be penetrated or tempted with/by poison. You really have gotta recognise what something is when it comes to you.

Huge salute & ups to James, by the way. We had a conversation last November when we saw each other for the first time since, like, 2013, by chance when passing on the street. Following up to that, we did have a dialogue that was recorded in December… but somehow, that got lost on my phone and I’m still pissed about it – hoping it’s just a glitch or some sh[**]. The reason why I give James credit is for sharing the idiom “create more, consume less” (something like that). So, among posting this, it only felt right to give a quick call, as I felt that it played a part in me later expanding on the topic of in>and<output, somewhat.

Thank you to any listeners. I really can’t value your time enough, as I know of this A.D.D. time we’re stuck in right now. Easy to lose interest. So I salute those of you every time.

KRYSTLE ON THE ARTWORK. I love you, sis.