‘A Different World’ and ‘Friday Night Lights‘… what else? No social media, because I put a ban on that utter shit and said so. New approaches have been looming and waiting for me to say, “Let’s go,” so now, here me & my new approaches stand, as I’ve decided to make a conscious choice to remove myself from all that is toxic regardless; and do this at an as-much-as-I-can rate, with no apologies or explanations to go with such.
Due to my inactivity on the fuckery that is Facebook; Instagram; Twitter, you can possibly expect me to flood my page here with whatever sincere thoughts I feel like sharing; ones that I feel are to aid the receiver who needs to receive the message at X: the present point in their life. I got tired of feeling like I have to post when I don’t. Anything that would only be selfish to keep to myself when it’s now evident in my life that I have a calling to spread words that are slowly [going] to make a difference in others’ lives, one by one.
Keeping within that note before I flip the page, though, I’m ’bout to sound like one of them bloggers who does a ton of lists, I wanna note some positive things I’ve done so far this year before getting into the body of this whole entry:
– Got back to manual writing by hand after getting a new notebook (which is also my first Moleskine), and I’ve never felt this better about writing.
– Started writing down something positive I did on a sticky note after every day (or write from memory if I forget to do this, or simply just cba).
– Taught my 2-year-old niece how to say some words, since she can speak clearer now, the funny bugger.
– Got back to watching FNL and finally got onto A Different World (as the opening line of this makes obvious). Big up Netflix.
– Started reading ‘The Master Key System’ (Charles Haanel). Thank you Abi!!!! This will go nicely with but most importantly add to my previous knowledge on ‘The Law of Attraction.’
– Bought an Aloe Vera Plant! Named it ‘Blythe Powers’ and she the shit right now I’ve also just gotten into a general habit of buying what I need and cutting down on what I want – YOU DON’T DESERVE IT YET, LEWIS. Spending practices going too well.
– Sorry last statement, I finally got Donell Jones’ Where I Wanna Be’ and also acquired ‘Mama’s Gun’ by Erykah Badu.
*Anyways… I get going now*
THE EYE OPENING
[It was only] a month into 2016, and I had not what I’d say was a shift in mentality; but certainly a defined outlook on life – [which was] one that took me time to reach on 100% due to so much uncertainty that I now know is firm. I’m talking about ‘what really matters,’ that’s at least what I wish to do; to deliver, and most importantly just to live. I always knew it before, but I had to come to final terms and set-in-stone-like conclusion that a lot of things really don’t matter.
Though I fear being “stuck in the mud,” I’ve been stuck in this one all-black outfit at home in the PM for the past two days, hair still growing out, Netflix marathons… I can see and now feel my content with being in my comfort. I’m positive now that going out is not for me, I swear (and you can take that as I’m sure or just the reason why I’m feeling good).
But ALAS below lies the catalyst for this rare blog entry.
You see, there was this one thing in particular that had slightly troubled ‘n’ worried me — nothing new — has been my mind’s endless conversations with itself about “success.”
On my 21st birthday (Thur 10th Dec 2016), I launched #CHANGEOFCONDITIONS, a campaign that was officially started via my website, SYNCLRITY.COM (also revealed to the world that same day). This campaign (as well as the brand alone) in my mind is and was always something I’ve prayed will keep running as long as it can; and that it can pass the course; thus eventually standing the rest of time rather than just reaching the finishing line. Issue was that, despite feeling a success and high buzz from off of the campaign’s birth… I had a bigger challenge for conquest on my plate once I launched it. I knew I still had work to do… I knew in advance what I was getting myself into – and it didn’t take a slap in the face for me to tell that the pursuit was never over to begin with. Own willingly taking on such a courageous, broad and — what to this day seems a — relentless-like task with what’s going on in, PLUS all that I plan to tackle, I quickly saw a reminder that ‘this thing is going to demand my LIFE – period; and the closer Iook in on and at, I see that’s there’s no other way around it if I’m brutally honest – if there is one, it’d only lead me back to facing the facts standing before me. You can’t use shortcuts and excuses with some things – the campaign is definitely one of them.
For something to live long or to run for a long time, the engine must either pack or generate a vast amount of energy to keep it going – else the engine ultimately packs in and stops at some point. Last month, what presented itself to me was a new attitude, since I know that I should’ve left majority of the pessimist inside me in 2015 (where I thought I had done if truth be told). And what am I going to do to get what I’m after? Well, something can’t materialise without the material itself being there. The focus for me now is the material; art first. And whoever gravitates towards – great. Whoever doesn’t – that’s cool since its probably not meant for them at that moment in time, no.
I see it all now…
How you can can you be mad that something isn’t setting off for you? The only valid cry to me is A) if you’re working – but even so, what does the world owe you? B) maybe sometimes it’s not your time just yet. Long as you’re alive, life isn’t running from you – “the journey” is not to be taken for granted, though.
What is online success going to do for me? What does it matter that I know who I’ve touched. When one like myself loses focus and has to recuperate, it takes evaluation and plan of further wiser actions in order to bounce back – doing it effectively. Why I say and will probably reinstate this notion is down to me noticing that: yes, I could do this and still do that – with that set in mind though, how am I focusing on what’s key and important? Like, for real – why long for what you don’t need at a moment in time? Nature more than anything else is teaching me that there’s no right or wrong ways about things when your life should go how it needs to if you follow your path; learn from mistakes; make careful decisions but without holding [yourself] back from a greater future ahead.
One life contains so many dynamics that apply to and jigsaw themselves within your time on earth (whether it be love, struggle, emotion, career, or in my extensive and most-recent past case: battling with the “success” idiom; where I’ve learned you must continue to go on by all means and really y[l]earn to trust in your own universe)…
… as time proceeds to give you what you need, you can’t allow your idea and fantasy of what you don’t have just let you control you enough to feed you lust for greed (hopefully somebody gets that, lmao).
Before I go, just two lessons from nature that I was fortunate to have by embracing the moments and accepting what my world was handing to me; what I felt like I was being told.
1. ‘There’s more to losing than failure.’
A loss has a clear lesson in it. Maybe you need to lose, because, out there right now is somebody who needs a win. I went to the pool/snooker hall twice in January with my Dad and brothers. I kept getting my ass kicked for some reason, but it wasn’t often by a long shot. The second time we visited, I got pissed at the fact I just kept losing (though I won once or twice). I shortly realized that maybe there’s more to life than this constant losing… and also, am I really losing? I have a life of blessings that I fail to acknowledge sometimes I must admit; so do I deserve them? Maybe I deserve to lose things, just like that pen I bought and lost the same day *cries, because it glided so blissfully across the paper.* You can’t pit yourself concentration on loss and see it all as you’re a failure in life.
2. ‘Don’t let shit eat you, and don’t allow yourself to be shit on.’
This analogy made my brother buss up in laughter and he loved it. I go no limits on this creativity cap of mine… Brain just shoot right through and off to my parallel universe of cognitive. But yeah… Through your living, there’s going to be consumption of things you’d like to eat as well as things you wouldn’t imagine eating. Shit needs to be let go of. Clear your system out.
Because, we consume so much and don’t realize what we’re taking in, but it affects you later on in that downtime you have, or catches you when you think life is all “bed of roses.” If you’re not aware of what’s happening, the influence is powerful enough to find a way to your subconscious. That’s my “theory” for the day. I’m no Einstein – I’m LSNCLR, and this is just reality, lol. Doesn’t mean you gotta stay ignorant when you’ve a choice to make that’s going to change your life; each step. With each step of the way, my brother/sister. Paint your own.
A lot of things that you THINK matter don’t. Things actually aren’t so bad after all, you know. How’s about that coming from me aka the biggest of worriers, eh?